Posted by: Aministo | July 29, 2017

Experimental Ranting

Trying to put into words your frustrations and sadness are difficult. Insanely difficult.


Today I consider becoming a corporate drone. Today I was hopeless. Today, was sad.


Meditating on the word ‘pillow,’ I now know why they are named as such: They’re the first ‘Pills’ you go to when you’re ‘low.’ Pills, low. Pillow. And that’s why sleep is the quick-fix solution when you’re sad.


Today I felt all creativity and personal aspirations just got hijacked. As if what was mine, is now someone else’s. That someone in trying to help me in accordance, took away my independence. My choice. I feel like I learned something, but at the cost of everything. It’s a sense of loss of ownership. Like what was once my dream is now someone else’s instead. And they own it more than me. I worked just as hard, but it felt like a bad purchase- nothing different than being a corporate drone: being bossed around to do stuff for someone else to stuff that you’re suppose to use that is not your’s to begin with. I was just directed around. Like a robot. It didn’t matter what I felt, what I would’ve liked, or anything. Get the job done, and get out.


And in that moment I felt used. That given my efforts there was nothing that was really ‘mine.’ It was all just a goal I had that became someone else’s to finish. The start had something to do with me, the rest was all just a husk doing something he forgot was his.


I know this is depressing, and too bad. Even in the most aspiring of things I feel like I didn’t get a say, things were done someone else’s way.


“Well, that’s life. We did it. What are you complaining about!”


That indeed is life and YOU did it. I just bent over and droned out.

So I guess I’d make a good follower. I’d make a good drone.


Motivation’s not needed when someone’s doing all the selective choices for you anyway.


I’m dirty, stinky, shirtless and tired, but all that sweat counts for squat to show how much of a push-over I am, and how little I can accomplish by myself. Just another cog in the machine tasked to do whatever job.


You weren’t helping me, you were destroying ‘me’. Putting your order onto my aspirations.


Well, isn’t that what corporations do?

Posted by: Aministo | May 28, 2017


There are many things this world has to offer.


But you don’t always take things.

Sometimes reality has a way of making you docile, and just tosses stuff your way.



Accepting that I’ve graduated and will have to find work,

Accepting my context and the people who supported me on my way to this moment,

will be also what limits me and ties me down. Accepting there is bureaucracy and a strong emphasis on capitalism.

accepting the truth, that my grandmother never got to see me graduate:

that death still looms even when we try our very best to distance ourselves from it.

Accepting the world is just getting hotter and hotter.



Accepting the truth is a first step to fixing what many are convinced to be permanent realities in this world. It can be daunting, disturbing, and even disgusting sometimes, but acknowledging there is poop in the restroom/house/WC is the first step to cleaning it up.


We can get to act upon it in a moment. (But to delay would be conforming)

So, what do you still have trouble accepting?

Posted by: Aministo | December 14, 2012

Dealing with the Concept of ‘Chill’

What happened to me? O_O

I’m always stress-

Or acting like I’m stressed.


I think I forgot how to chill

like a pokemon only has four moves

Mine would be:





Chill– erased by intense prayer.


Hehe, that would explain

so much.


I’m a fighter.

I fight fight fight.”

I’m a soldier

trudging on through the war.”


Never the farmer who works then chills, never the writer or painter who could explore who they were.


This is the path I am forced to walk or fall apart.

My roots are of this serious path,

but I want to change that.